Giving up?

I am feeling very tired these days. With so many responsibilities and yet so little support, I find all the things I have to do very much a chore. To make things worst, most of the people around me are giving me problems, telling me to do things to satisfy their selfish needs. Conclusion.. it doesn’t really pay to be kind.

Sometimes, I thought to myself that I should just be selfish for once and let go of this burden to lead the life I want. Maybe soon… I guess I would start to relieve off my duties and not volunteer for anymore nonsense that require me to do almost impossible stuff. Because, I also want to be like them, have my own share of fun without stress.

Recently, my time have been sucked mostly by army. Having to reach Selarang by 7.30am really turns me off. Better still, I can only leave camp after 5.30pm, mostly around 6-6.30pm because I have to lock up the office. So why am I locking up the office?? This is because I have a subordinate that will only show initiative when the day is about to end and will disappear once he can be dismissed. It’s kinda irritating to see somebody keep standing there hinting to me whether he can go, because I am not the one to decide whether I can go. Of course I can be nice and say, “You may leave, I will lock up the office.” But why should I? Not as if he is particularly nice to me anyway. Yearn for days of more freedom man, it’s coming real soon, but that also means that I am jobless and need to find a job in order to support myself.

My job hunt is still in a passive mode, and WHY IS THAT SO?!?!?! because I am involved with non value-added activities that takes up most of my time. And after all the rubbish stuff, I know I will feel a sense of achievement. Alright, back to my job, I managed to applied for ONE company under the LOT programme. Hope that this ONE can just accept me and let me do what I am interested in. I don’t really mind getting slightly below market rate, I just want to do what I like.

After grumbling so much, I would like to highlight that I am not really alone because there are still some people out there supporting me throughout this period of uncertainty and stress. Thanks so much. For the rest of you who are reading this and find that I am talking about you (some are kinda obvious right, like the army stuff? haha), please reflect on yourself. But if you ask me whether I am talking about you? Please do not bother because my diplomatic nature will say no.

ARGH!! SO MANY TO DO YET SO LITTLE HELP!!

Updates updates!!

It has been sometime since I last log into wordpress to blog. Not many views but it doesn’t matter, I am still going to blog for those who read.

As some of you might know, I am back in Army serving my remaining months of service. I was initially posted to the ops room to be ops spec, but as they were too busy to entertain me, I chose to become int spec to contribute and help out the poor int spec there that was overwhelmed by work. My tasks ain’t difficult but sometimes the lazy weyshi overcame me and I ended up looking for some secluded area to slack.. haha.. however, I still did my job la…

I was presented my degree on 29th Jul 09 during my convocation. Interestingly, I will be receiving my degree together with Roger who will be receiving his Masters in Education. Managed to meet up with him after the reception to take a picture. Also, I took quite a lot of pictures together with dearie.. wanted to show you all but too lazy to load up.

My job hunting session was not a success. All I did was to hunt for the compaines, but did not get myself to apply for most of the jobs. As for the few compaines I applied, I haven’t heard from them.. I do need to get my act together soon to search aggressively for jobs. However, I am not sure if I should commit myself so early as I still yearn to go to UK for a short period of time to study piping.

It’s past 12am now and I shall make up way to space (sleep) now. The life of waking up at 5.30am is dreadful, and after a whole day of work, I do not seem to find enough time to accomplish the stuff I want to do. ARGH!!

BTW, I will also be involved in the NDP 09!! That means that I will be burning my Sunday, but I find it meaningful as I am doing somebody, who desires to protect Singapore, a favour. RESPECT MAN!!