Unproductive Me
Posted by weyshi on August 12, 2008
Was busy lately, but dunno with what. Time seems to be flying and all I do everyday is to rush here and there. I feel so dejected, feel so aimless, like there is no purpose in life. Although I know that I have lots of work to do like my IO report and FYP literature review, but there is absolutely no motivation to do. Most importantly, nagging don’t work for me, it will make me resent the work more. I am so sick of trying to make everyone happy too. Why do I need to be there for others when they are always never there for me? Why do I need to make sure everything goes well for others when nobody appreciates it?
Sometimes, it is difficult to juggle passion with reality. Or making reality a passion. There are so many people with expectations of me, when I dun expect anything out of anyone. So who am i? Someone living for others or someone living for myself? Of course I would prefer to live for God, but many dun understand who is He.
Although this weekend has been a long and joyous weekend, but it has been very unproductive because of all those that are mentioned above. I guess I don’t have the motivation anymore to study hard like I used to.. long long ago (around Sec 2). I remembered that I had so much fun studying… knowing it all and acing exams… it’s so difficult to find back that feeling. Right now, the thought of writing reports sucks… I am getting so sick of it… how long it drags….. I confess, I haven’t done much of it recently despite deadlines approaching, mainly because it has been on my mind for so long that I am resenting it…
Back to reality, I haven’t done much of my report writing and reading on electromigration over the weekend. Haven’t done anything productive…. I need a break, free from any worrying thoughts… Can somebody tell me what I should do now?
