Welcome to the 4th year…

Being in 4th year university is not as easy as the first 3 years… Have to look out for all the career talks, attend lesson (which i seldom), do FYP, and so on.. I haven’t been going to school often.. always wake up late… Trying to find time now to watch all the online lectures and start doing my tutorials…

4th year subjects are quite difficult, at least for the subjects I am taking.. very abstract… I should blame myself for not studying hard enough in the first 3 years to get a good fouundation.. i guess i have to work extra hard right now…

Till now, I am still not sure of what I have to do for my FYP. I am suppose to complete a literature review on electromigration. But how to do it when I dun even have an idea on what I am suppose to do for my project. All I know is I am suppose to do simulation on electromigration using matlab.. but look, I dun even know what is expected out of me, so how am I suppose to give a clear and consice literature reivew? I guess I can only depend on JR Black to give me the answer.. but after reading his journals, I still not very clear of what he has to say.. esp the theory part…

Signed up for 1 career talk.. Navy Engineering Officer.. got give free movie tickets and a good buffet dinner.. right now, i am leaving my options open.. but i hope to get a job related to product design…

I expect myself to be very busy for the next 2 sems.. have to cope with many many things.. I guess i have to sacrifice some things like football manager and useless surfing time on internet… havent been productive for the last 1 mth because of these…

One down… many more to go…

Finally, I managed to complete my long over due IO report. Abit late, but it has passed through the high quality control report writing standards of Ong Wey Shi. I have always been very proud of my report writing skills. Except for the first report I wrote in year 1 poly which contribute to a C grade in that module, I think I had produced many outstanding reports. Haha.. sounds so thick skin… But was very happy just now when I got a “quite impressive” reply from the scientist I sent to vet my report. I hope I can get a good grade and forgive my late submission.

Just two days ago, I heard that my IO boss is leaving the company… It was quite shock to know after knowing that he has worked there for more than 5 years, I think 7 years. Best of all, it all happened straight after he signed my IO logbook. Did he stayed on a few more weeks because of me?? I wonder.. whatever the case, I wish him all the best and hope he can get a partner soon (if he wants). I must really thank him for everything he has helped me with, so enthu in helping me.

Now, I am left with my overdued FYP Lit Review and many more stuff. Also, my BB stuff is in a mess, din have time to see to it. I really hope that God will bring me through this… I have yet to start concentrating any of modules seriously after 3 weeks. Not even printing proper notes, and the excuse is my Adobe Professional failed on me. Dunno if it is because of the Vista, it’s like quite unreliable… right now.. I really dunno what software to choose… windows XP or Vista?? Microsoft Office 2003 or 2007?? it’s so difficult to choose, esp when this is the transistion period and I dun like to be the guniue pig..

Ok.. I shall now start my studying and Lit review.. Hope I can show Gan something when he asks me during the meeting…

Unproductive Me

Was busy lately, but dunno with what. Time seems to be flying and all I do everyday is to rush here and there. I feel so dejected, feel so aimless, like there is no purpose in life. Although I know that I have lots of work to do like my IO report and FYP literature review, but there is absolutely no motivation to do. Most importantly, nagging don’t work for me, it will make me resent the work more. I am so sick of trying to make everyone happy too. Why do I need to be there for others when they are always never there for me? Why do I need to make sure everything goes well for others when nobody appreciates it?

Sometimes, it is difficult to juggle passion with reality. Or making reality a passion. There are so many people with expectations of me, when I dun expect anything out of anyone. So who am i? Someone living for others or someone living for myself? Of course I would prefer to live for God, but many dun understand who is He.

Although this weekend has been a long and joyous weekend, but it has been very unproductive because of all those that are mentioned above. I guess I don’t have the motivation anymore to study hard like I used to.. long long ago (around Sec 2). I remembered that I had so much fun studying… knowing it all and acing exams… it’s so difficult to find back that feeling. Right now, the thought of writing reports sucks… I am getting so sick of it… how long it drags….. I confess, I haven’t done much of it recently despite deadlines approaching, mainly because it has been on my mind for so long that I am resenting it…

Back to reality, I haven’t done much of my report writing and reading on electromigration over the weekend. Haven’t done anything productive…. I need a break, free from any worrying thoughts… Can somebody tell me what I should do now?