Renewed loan

3 weeks ago, I borrowed 2 books, a first aid manual and a product design handbook which explains all the general terms in designing world, from Toa Payoh library. I have always known myself to be a slow reader which resulted in my dislike for books. However, I thought my dislikes has slowly evolved for the better since I have read many boring papers, therefore braving myself to challenge these books.

Well, nothing has changed, my dislikes for books is still there and after 3 weeks, I have only read through a third of the design handbook and browse through the content of the first aid manual. Luckily, renewing of the loan is just a click away, and some more FREE!!

Now, I have 3 more weeks to continue the two third of design book and complete the first aid notes that is required for the BB badgework. A lot more to go.. haiz..

Where has all my time gone to?

I have been busy lately, not very busy, but just not enough time to do the things I want to do or need to do. To most people’s knowledge, I am suppose to be unemployed and should have all the time in the world to look for a job, so why am I still busy and short of time?

These days, my time passes quite fast. I usually start my day (aka wake up) around 2pm, have my lunch, watch some TV. Before I know it, it’s evening and I am starting to feel a bit sleepy. If I should succumb to the temptations to sleep, I will wake up around 8-9pm to take my dinner. Thereafter, I will sit in front of my laptop doing the usual routine, which is check email, facebook, play a few facebook games, and sometimes play either Civilisation 4 or Plants vs Zombies. It will be till midnight before I start to get my act together to do the things I need to do, such as reply emails, do some planning for BB. After a few hours of boring stuff, I will switch on the TV to watch HK dramas and maybe Discovery or History Channel. Finally, I will head to bed at around 5.30am after waking Dearie up for work.

I suppose some of you might envy my life being so carefree and relaxed, but I don’t really like the life I am leading now. I do have plans for what I need to do, and it requires lots of discipline and determination to do it. Day by day, I will do bit by bit. There are some progress, but not good enough.

I would rather have a job right now, have a fixed routine on when what I need to do, then go home to relax or go out with friends to spend my day away. It seems more meaningful.

Also, I am now the defacto person to do BB stuff since I am suppose to be very “free”. I kind of hate this responsibility. When I am busy with school work, I have to do BB stuff, when I am suppose to be looking for job, I still have to do BB stuff. Then when can I own my own time? I could have just walk away and heck care about anything that is assigned to me, but I still have this responsibility in me that tells me that I shouldn’t. I envy those that doesn’t have this sense of guilt and responsibility, makes them a better man don’t they?

Whatever the case is, I am into what I need to do. God help me to be a better man and not procrastinate anymore.

Commitment

For the past half an hour, I have taught to myself what commitment is and this is the definition that I have came up with.

Commitment is the promise that you make to yourself to stand by the decision you have made when you first believed in it.

Some committed themself because of passion, some because it is what they want to do. To others, it may be an obligation that they should do it since they have been involved for quite awhile. However, many do not understand what commitment is. It’s not about it bringing happiness to your life, and leaving it while there’s something that crops up. You have to be responsible to your commitment, else it will not be a commitment.

For me, it’s all about joy. The joy of looking at God’s work.

A blog to start my day

It has been awhile since I last blogged. Not really busy with many stuff even through there are many things I want to do during this period. This is probably the lowest work rate in my lifetime.

I have met up with friends all over and the most common question I have got would be asking me what I am doing now. Subsequently, most of them will continued by asking me how am I spending my days, or whether I am looking for a job right now. I do get abit tired of keep repeating the same things over again, but then again I shouldn’t blame them for showing their concern or trying to think of how to communicate with me.

So what I am really doing now, for those that are interested to know? I am currently trying to reflect on myself on who I am and what do I really want to do? Although I have been telling myself and most of the people around me that I want to try to get a job doing consumer product design, I know it’s almost impossible for me to get it since I am not a graduate of product design, industrial design or mechanical engineering. I do not have any background in design other than a project based module known as material aspect in design, and the most critial skill required in design – knowledge in computer aided design.

Today, I woke up around 2.30pm, bathed, ate my lunch and felt tired. Just as I was trying to take a nap, many things went through my mind just as I closed my eyes. The worry and fear of not getting a job seems to be troubling me. I was thinking why not I just sign on in army, maybe as an officer? Or I can do teaching straight away despite my initial thoughts of wanting to work in the industry before being a D&T teacher?

Finally, I realised that I shouldn’t just waste my time worry about what I going to do in the future. Instead, I should realise all those things that I want to do and should do right now.

I want to do whatever I can for BB to restore its pride and glory.
I want to organise my house such that it’s comfortable to live in.
I want to learn as much skills as possible that makes me a useful person.
I want to organise myself such that I do not have any more reasons to procrastinate in everything I want to do.

After spending some time typing this, I came up with this two throughts:

1. When you are tired physically, there is coffee.
2. When you are tired spiritually, there is Bible.

Well, after saying so much, it’s really the action that counts. Let’s hope I can fulfill my desires.

My long weekend – Part 2

After much procrastination, I have decided to quickly finish up with my post on last week.

Monday – MC
Stayed at home the entire day because I’m immobile. The pain was quite bad because I did not follow my doctor’s instructions. During the consultation on Sunday, my doctor mentioned that I should apply RICE on my leg. R = rest, I = ice, C = compression and E = elevate. However, the as usual lazy and rebellous me only did the 1 out of 4. I did rest my leg because of my lazy nature, spent most of my time either at my desk or on my bed. The day was quite meaningless and did nothing much.

Tuesday – TEACHERS’ DAY!!
My leg was better, but not much. As it’s teachers’ day, I promised dearie that I will accompany her. However, because of my leg, I can only limp around. I am sure dearie can’t bear to see me limp around the whole day, so we decided to watch 2 movie at one go. We met around 1pm to buy the tickets for our first show – Bruno. My opinion on that show -> it’s a bloody disgusting show with stupid crude jokes that I don’t really found it funny. But my gf, unlike most ger, found it funny…. werid… Second show was much better – UP. It’s quite packed when we got in the cinema and I am quite proud of myself to book the tickets the day before because I can foresee that since it’s a school holiday, most kids will watch these type of show. It’s a nice and touching show with lots of meaningful message. Nice story line too!! After the show, we went to shop around abit, and bought a bed tray!! Dearie, I want to tell you that it’s very useful, because I am using it on my bed to type this post right now!! I’m glad to have a good start this month…

My long weekend – Part 1

Today is the last day of my long weekend, will have to report to work (army) tomorrow. =(

Saturday – BB Pipe Bands Cohesion Day & Soccer
As I had spent the night before having meeting, I have have to stay at home in the morning to complete my lesson plan for the cohesion day band practice later in the day. While I was doing my lesson plan, I suddenly have negative thoughts… is all this planning worth my time?? Will they appreciate it, or think that it’s a waste of time. So instead of looking forward to the Cohesion Day, I have decided to change my highlight of the day to SOCCER AFTER PARADE. The cohesion day went smoothly, however without any climax. It seems that everybody is just going through the motion, with not much learning attitude, thinking that they have nothing much to learn. There’s nothing much that I can do about it anyway.

Back at Barker, there’s seems to be something serious going on. However, I have to address my issue with the band about their restless attitude during the cohesion day. After my lecture to the band, Ian Hwee told me that there’s some NCO Council Emergeny Summit going on. In order to satisfy my curiosity, I went to take a look. Apparently, the issue was on some disorganised management and some of them have some issues with one another. Well, it always happens…. from recruits to NCO Council.. and even to officers’ council.. This is because everybody makes mistakes. So always look on the bright side; take it easy with others’ mistakes and help them, so that you will also be treated similarly next time when you make mistakes.

After parade, waited for Dearie to come and play soccer with us. It’s a first time for her to play with us, and of course I have to give special instructions to them to give her special treatment.. haha.. Everything went well till I trip over the ball while dribbing. Sprain my ankle quite badly that I have to lie there for probably 5 to 10 mins. With this injury, there goes all my after parade entertainment like meeting up with MC. sad =( Later, I managed to stand up and limped my way to waffletown for dinner, and then limp my way home after that.

Sunday – Report Sick
I woke up in the morning feeling a bad sore at my ankle. It was swollen and very painful when I tried to walk. After the whole morning of struggling, I finally decided to report sick at A&E. As I got out of the taxi, I limped to the registration counter and asked for a wheelchair. It’s quite fun to move around on a wheelchair, but I almost got motion sickness as the nurses pushed my wheelchair in quite a fast speed. I was quite shock that the doctor only gave me 2 days MC (Sunday & Monday), because I was really in agony during that time and expect myself to be able to walk only after 1 week. With much disappointment, I called the ops room to inform, and our dear RSM PA say I chao keng!!! haha.. sometimes it’s quite difficult to keng sprained ankle right?? Got home after that to rest… nothing much happened….

To Be Continued…………….

Giving up?

I am feeling very tired these days. With so many responsibilities and yet so little support, I find all the things I have to do very much a chore. To make things worst, most of the people around me are giving me problems, telling me to do things to satisfy their selfish needs. Conclusion.. it doesn’t really pay to be kind.

Sometimes, I thought to myself that I should just be selfish for once and let go of this burden to lead the life I want. Maybe soon… I guess I would start to relieve off my duties and not volunteer for anymore nonsense that require me to do almost impossible stuff. Because, I also want to be like them, have my own share of fun without stress.

Recently, my time have been sucked mostly by army. Having to reach Selarang by 7.30am really turns me off. Better still, I can only leave camp after 5.30pm, mostly around 6-6.30pm because I have to lock up the office. So why am I locking up the office?? This is because I have a subordinate that will only show initiative when the day is about to end and will disappear once he can be dismissed. It’s kinda irritating to see somebody keep standing there hinting to me whether he can go, because I am not the one to decide whether I can go. Of course I can be nice and say, “You may leave, I will lock up the office.” But why should I? Not as if he is particularly nice to me anyway. Yearn for days of more freedom man, it’s coming real soon, but that also means that I am jobless and need to find a job in order to support myself.

My job hunt is still in a passive mode, and WHY IS THAT SO?!?!?! because I am involved with non value-added activities that takes up most of my time. And after all the rubbish stuff, I know I will feel a sense of achievement. Alright, back to my job, I managed to applied for ONE company under the LOT programme. Hope that this ONE can just accept me and let me do what I am interested in. I don’t really mind getting slightly below market rate, I just want to do what I like.

After grumbling so much, I would like to highlight that I am not really alone because there are still some people out there supporting me throughout this period of uncertainty and stress. Thanks so much. For the rest of you who are reading this and find that I am talking about you (some are kinda obvious right, like the army stuff? haha), please reflect on yourself. But if you ask me whether I am talking about you? Please do not bother because my diplomatic nature will say no.

ARGH!! SO MANY TO DO YET SO LITTLE HELP!!

Updates updates!!

It has been sometime since I last log into wordpress to blog. Not many views but it doesn’t matter, I am still going to blog for those who read.

As some of you might know, I am back in Army serving my remaining months of service. I was initially posted to the ops room to be ops spec, but as they were too busy to entertain me, I chose to become int spec to contribute and help out the poor int spec there that was overwhelmed by work. My tasks ain’t difficult but sometimes the lazy weyshi overcame me and I ended up looking for some secluded area to slack.. haha.. however, I still did my job la…

I was presented my degree on 29th Jul 09 during my convocation. Interestingly, I will be receiving my degree together with Roger who will be receiving his Masters in Education. Managed to meet up with him after the reception to take a picture. Also, I took quite a lot of pictures together with dearie.. wanted to show you all but too lazy to load up.

My job hunting session was not a success. All I did was to hunt for the compaines, but did not get myself to apply for most of the jobs. As for the few compaines I applied, I haven’t heard from them.. I do need to get my act together soon to search aggressively for jobs. However, I am not sure if I should commit myself so early as I still yearn to go to UK for a short period of time to study piping.

It’s past 12am now and I shall make up way to space (sleep) now. The life of waking up at 5.30am is dreadful, and after a whole day of work, I do not seem to find enough time to accomplish the stuff I want to do. ARGH!!

BTW, I will also be involved in the NDP 09!! That means that I will be burning my Sunday, but I find it meaningful as I am doing somebody, who desires to protect Singapore, a favour. RESPECT MAN!!

1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues^a of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^b but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Last day as a civilian

As the day breaks, my time of returning my pink IC slowly creeps in… While I am waiting for my time to come, I found some time to blog. Let talk about my last day as a civilian.

I woke up yesterday with my mum’s intention of going to pui tian to eat our brunch, together with my 2 brothers. It’s seems like an holiday as it’s quite rare to see both of them home during a weekday. The lunch was quite good with good sweet and sour pork and many other unique dishes. I was also surprised that my PAssion card finally came to good use with a 10% to it. The not so good part about the lunch was my mum fell down again while walking from our parking area, but luckily it was just minor abrasion.

When I got home, the effect of sleepiness after lunch starts to kick in. Believing that it’s the last day of “freedom”, I went off to sleep for the next few hours till I had enough of it. That’s most certainly enjoyable

Thereafter, I started my engine and start packing my clothes and stuff that’s required for NS. The whole process took quite a long while with many difficulties finding some of the stuff which are kept out of sight. Finally, I finished packing at around 1am, then slept at 2am.

Now, it’s 6.49am with me squeezed into my uniform. Had some trouble just know with the sleeves as there’s lots of difficulty trying to squeeze my fat arm in. Here are some aim I wish to accomplish during my time in NS.

1. Slim down till I can fit into my uniform comfortably
2. Spend the time to look for a job
3. Stay out of trouble

Wish me luck for my first day.